ready for change

I cannot seem to figure out what it is I want anymore.  Just when I think I have started to figure things out I get thrown for a loop and the confusion sets in all over again.  I just feel like there's something more, something bigger for me to do with my life.  Let's face the facts here though, I am not getting any younger.  The more I try to get rid of old habits the more I end up  missing them and wanting to revert to my old ways.  There is something to be said about being in your comfort zone.I mean really, who wants to go through change not knowing what the outcome will hold? It is always easier to stick with what you know.  Maybe i just need to pray for more guidance and believe that God will show me the way.  All I do know is that i want to be happy and provide the best possible life for my children.  I want my reality to play out like a fairytale. I want to feel like a princess and I don't think that just because I need affirmations that make me feel good as a person it does not mean that I have self esteem issues! Is it so bad to want to hear nice things on a daily basis. I am probbably one of the most positive, happy, peppy people you will ever meet but if I don't get that in return I find that my mood takes a turn for the worse and I become defensive and combative.  I will continue to be me and hope for the best. The only difference this time is that I determine my fairytale ending. I am doing me so that I can be the very best i can be for my kids. I want nothing but the best for them and above all I want for them to be as happy as can be.

i promise me

It's always easy to say you are gonna do something. The real challenge comes when you have to actually follow through with your actions and make those words a reality. I have decided to make no promises to anyone until I can make good on promises to me. I promise to put in a good workout at least 4-5 times a week. I promise to be nicer to myself and to treat my body as the temple that it is. I promise to give myself 100% at completing the tasks no matter how big or small that I set before me. I promise to love me first so that I can give others the same kind of love they deserve. I promise to make myself happy so that those around me can also be happy by being around me. I promise to finish what I start and only start that which I will finish. I have so much to do and yet I have done so little. I vow to make this upcoming school year THE year that I get things done in every aspect of my life. I have asked and I believe and now I will wait to receive that which will come to me. I count my blessings daily and am forever grateful for all that is bestowed upon me. I just feel like there is something more that I need to do . Like there is a bigger purpose out there for me to serve. I can't seem to shake this feeling that there is something that I have yet to do. I pray for the guidance to seek that which is yet to be found. I promise to search and to do what it takes until this is complete. I promise me to keep my promises.

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